Alright alright, I know what your think… Affair and Forgiveness these are two things that DO NOT got together… When the cat was out of the bag, and my husband’s affair was no longer a secret.
I was CRUSHED, the one person that I trusted completely had betrayed in me in the worst way possible. HOW WOULD WE MOVE FORWARD, HOW COULD I TRUST HIM AGAIN!?
These were all real questions running through my head, like a record that I couldn’t turn off!
Standing Strong to the WORD
As a believer, I knew Jesus gave his life to cover my sins, but he did the same for my husbands! The bible clearly states that WE as individuals are NOT to judge others but to ALLOW God judge them and to show unconditional love and to humble ourselves.
- Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure of use, it will be measured to you.”
- Ephesians 4:2 ” Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
These versus molded me in the next steps of healing in my marriage.
This versus in Peter I lived by for many months and still do to this day!
- 1 Peter 3: 1-2 “In the same way, You wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.
My husband had fallen short, and he had wandered so far from the path that the Lord had set for him. He allowed the things of this world to pull him away from Jesus, in turn pulling him away from me and our precious gifts from God.
When the lord gave me these realizations, it was hard to feel bitterness towards him anymore. All I could feel was sadness. EMENSE SADNESS… Sad that I didn’t see him drifting before it had gone this far. Sad for the life that he now thought was reality.
Surrendering it to God
I remember us talking about what the next steps would be… He thought all I wanted was our old life back, he told me I was only worried about my own happiness. That was a lie sent straight from the devil himself… I told him point blank, I’m not worried about my happiness, I’m trying to save your SOUL! (I think that one hit him a bit differently.)
I had surrendered my marriage whole hearted to the LORD, those first days after finding out. I was no longer in control of the outcome… This gave me such a sense of peace!
Becoming Prayer Warrior
I had prayed for others before but it wasn’t until this trial in our life that ever understood what it meant to pray with your whole heart! This trial was bringing out a maturity in my faith that was next level! (More on that in another blog post)
Through our journey I prayed often for my husband, but I NEVER once prayed for my husband to come home to us…
I prayed for God’s will to be done in our lives, whether that meant us being apart or together, just for his will to be done. I prayed for my own peace through whatever the lord had planned for us… and for me to feel the lords peace every step of the way… (spoiler alert it was a rough and bumpy road at times)
I prayed for my husband to find a true relationship with Jesus, and for the lord would open his eyes to the sin, in which he was living and for his ears to be sensitive to hear the whispers from the Holy Spirit.
Forgiveness
Of course it is never easy to forgive someone who has done you wrong, but man is it necessary. Holding on to that hate and un-forgiveness will lead to bitterness and resentment. None of which I want residing in my heart!
Praying for the Lord to heal my heart and carry the weight of the betrayal that I felt was a necessity, just to manage through day to day life. Instead of obsessing over my marriage and trying to control my husband or the outcome, I put all of my effort on building my own relationship with Christ, and THAT is what helped me to HEAL.
Surrendering the pain and betrayal and allowing Jesus to hold my entire heart. Molded me into a new being in Christ. It molded me into a stronger woman of faith. One that now understands what it means to stand in the GAP for your loved ones that are lost, in this sin filled world.
Those holes from betrayal and broken trust, now have been filled by gratitude for the resurrected marriage that we have now! A marriage centered around the one who payed it for all of our sins. Gratitude for a god that is so good and so powerful he would allow me just a regular wife and mom to sit and watch in wonder while he rescued someone that I loved so dearly.
HIS TIMING NOW MINE
Let me remind you that, Healing isn’t always a one and done kind of thing either. Sometimes healing takes time, but knowing that you are open to forgiveness and you are working towards it everyday is a step in the right direction.
There are times that you may have to acknowledging small steps as victories. Then over time you will look back and see that those small steps add up to huge accomplishments.
Our situation is a 180 turn around from where it once was, not because we only worked together to rebuild this life but that we worked individually on our relationships with Christ, and in turn HE has put our broken pieces back together more beautifully then they were before. We love each other in a different way, with a different understanding of love through Jesus.
My Reminders to You
The betrayal against you are not your burdens to carry. Give them to GOD for he cares for you!
The weight of someone’s actions and your own judgement against them is never meant for you to carry. GOD will judge them so you do not have too!
We all have a savior that is Ready and Willing to step in on our behalf and cover us with unconditional love and grace and give us a peace that surpasses all understanding… We just have to surrender our hearts and our trails to him for his help!
If you find yourself in a situation similar to mine, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
If you need a prayer warrior on your side, send me a prayer request here!